


The Andreil escapades

by minyardqueen



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mild Smut, My First Smut, Other, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-11-07 09:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11056239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minyardqueen/pseuds/minyardqueen
Summary: Title says it all the Andreil escapades. The exploration of their relationship. The undying need and want for the other one.





	1. The thighs of the runner

**Author's Note:**

> Requests for further chapters are always open here in the commets or on my tumblr [ minyardqueen.tumblr.com ](http://minyardqueen.tumblr.com/ask)  
> Word count: 1603

It was just after practice when Andrew and Neil returned to the Fox Tower. Neil was exhausted and just wanted to lie down for a few minutes and relax his aching body. Andrew went and took a shower while the striker ridded himself of his clothes and lied in their bed in nothing but his boxer briefs. When Andrew re-entered the bedroom, he saw his boyfriend splayed across the middle of the bed lying on his stomach and the grey blanket only covering the middle of his body, fast asleep. His curly hair messy with Exy and sleep. He watched him for a bit, because he rarely did so when Neil was aware of it. He liked looking at him like this. Soft and vulnerable, peaceful. He always had a thing for Neil’s legs, the runner’s legs, even though he never said so. But now that they were there, full on display he basked in the sight. He came a few silent steps closer and ghosted his calloused finger tips over one of Neil’s sculpted thighs. Neil let out a soft sound and opened his eyes a crack looking at Andrew. He was a terribly light sleeper, much like Andrew. If either of them so much as stirred on the bed at night the other one was awake in no time.

“Hey.” Neil croaked, voice still heavy with sleep.

“Hey.” Andrew emulated his word and sat beside him on the bed. Neil shifted a bit closer absent minded so that the top of his head rested against Andrew’s arm and pecked it ever so slightly. Andrew just gave him a look and said nothing. Deep within him he knew he liked it, maybe not even that deep since he let Neil do it without tearing his head off. He slid a bit lower so that their faces were almost at the same level and pecked Neil’s forehead. Neil wasted no time and lifted himself up so that he could kiss Andrew’s mouth. It was soft and not cracked like it usually was. He even didn’t taste like cigarettes, he tasted like himself and Neil liked it. He liked it when Andrew tasted like himself and there was no hint of smoke or alcohol lingering on his lips. He like the way he smelled right after he got out of the shower, he smelled like the shower gel they both shared and again himself. His blond hair was wet, which Neil only realised when he ran a hand through it as their kisses got hungrier.

“You had a wet dream, Josten?” Andrew said in a pretend mocking voice.

“Why do you ask?” Neil eyed him curiously.

“Well because you’re already hard.” Andrew continued. Neil went red in the face and down to his chest. Yes, he got excited just kissing him, but Andrew never pointed it out in such way. “It’s okay.” Andrew said. “I like it that I get you so excited.” He admitted not looking at Neil and wanted to dismiss the situation with another hungry attack on Neil’s lips, but Neil pulled him away by the wet locks his fingers where laced through.

“What?” he said startled. “You heard me the first time. You know I don’t like repeating myself.” And then he put his mouth to better use attacking Neil’s lips once more. After a bit, Neil was wide awake and kissing and bruising Andrew’s neck, for everyone to see.

“Yes or no?” Andrew got out. “Uhm.” Neil agreed, still sucking a spot into Andrew’s tender flesh. He soothed it with his tongue before Andrew lied him on his back. He started slowly running his hands down Neil’s torn chest. He never once took his eyes from the scars he was running over. Feeling the ridges and the curves with his fingers for a thousandth time. Even though he never admitted it out loud he loved the way they made Neil look and he wouldn’t want him any other way. He took his sweet time with the teasing.

“Come on.” Neil grunted already frustrated. Andrew took a deep breath and lied very close to Neil. So close that Neil could feel his heartbeat through Andrew’s chest tightly pressed into his arm. He could feel Andrew’s hot breath on his neck where it tickled him when he let it out. He shivered under the sensation. Even more so when Andrew wrapped his fingers around his cock. He inhaled sharply and let his head fall back a bit. He was so overwhelmed by the closeness. It was even more stimulating than the actual hand stroking him up and down in a skilled manner. Neil didn’t know what inflicted it, but was happy about it anyway. Neil was breathing heavily, his stomach clenching and his whole body burning. His eyes squeezed close, his hands gripping the white cotton sheets beneath the pair to ground himself. “Sh.” Andrew kept whispering between the soft kisses he lied on Neil’s collar bone. It was more praise than scolding to keep him quiet. He liked when Neil let him know he was enjoying this. He liked seeing how he took him apart just using his hand. And in a few moments Neil came violently, with a cry, all over Andrew’s hand. Andrew sat upright and fished tissues from the nightstand drawer. He cleaned himself and Neil off. And just as he was about to stand up Neil croaked:

“Stay.” It came out more like a breathless whisper but Andrew understood it just right. He took a deep breath and then resumed his position on the bed, letting Neil’s head rest against his shoulder. When Neil gained his composure again he turned to his stomach again and started kissing Andrew’s neck. He enjoyed their new-found closeness. Andrew rarely stayed in bed right after an act like this and Neil lived for the moments when he did. Neil wanted to give him everything in the world even though Andrew always said he wanted nothing. Neil would bring heavens down if it made him happy, he would carry mountains on his shoulders if that’s what he wanted. Neil felt Andrew’s breath hitch in his throat when he came over a very sensitive spot right under Andrew’s ear.

“I want to make you feel good.” Neil whispered against the other boy’s skin, his breath hot and heavy with excitement.

“This is good.” The goalie answered and took another deep breath.

“No love, I want to get you off.” The pet name rolled off Neil’s tongue easier every time he used it. And Andrew didn’t mind, he actually used it himself sometimes, coming from him it was more of a mocking thing, but he secretly liked it as well, but he’d be dead before he’d admit it. Andrew didn’t say anything for a while. Thinking it all over.

“Yes or no Andrew?” Neil said looking him dead in the face, even though Andrew’s eyes were closed shut. Instead of an answer he took Neil’s hand and with eyes still shut he put it on his abdomen where Neil could feel the muscles underneath his shirt.

“No lower than this.” He whispered and then undid his fly and the few buttons on his skin tight black jeans. He then pulled his pants lower to free himself from the cloth restraining him. It wasn’t the first-time Neil saw him, but it always felt like that anyway.

“Yes or no?” Neil said again. He was very aware of the intensity of the moment and how much he was stepping over the line with this. He always was and he wanted to make sure it was alright every time.

“Y-yes.” Andrew stuttered giving himself a few experimental tugs. He was working himself up and Neil was very grateful for the new vulnerability Andrew granted him. He kissed him just the way Andrew liked it on his neck and jaw and face and mouth. And let his hand just there on his stomach where Andrew guided it. His breath was getting harder by the second. And when he was nearing the end he got hold of Neil’s wrist on his belly and guided it to wrap around his own fingers that were pleasuring him.

“Just this.” He got out. Neil was so thankful for how far Andrew was willing to go tonight. He didn’t know what triggered it, but Andrew probably didn’t know himself. Maybe it was just a good day.

“Okay?” Neil couldn’t hold back the question.

“Mm.” Andrew let out, not being able to form coherent words overwhelmed by the moment. And just like this he finished all over himself and Neil. There wasn’t a grunt or a moan or a cry like Neil’s. There was just the exhale, of the breath both of them didn’t notice he was holding. Neil pulled his hand away and snatched a few more tissues from the nightstand cleaning himself up and handing a couple to Andrew to sort himself out as well. He put his head back on the pillow and watched Andrew’s back while he cleaned up. He was half expecting him to leave but he was very thankful that he took his spot on the bed with him again, once more letting Neil’s head to rest on the top of his shoulder.

“You’re gonna be the death of me Josten.” He sighed and kissed the top of Neil’s head in a silent thank you.

“Well either me or somebody else you piss off on the court and they’ll do your head in with the racquet.” Neil chuckled.

“110.” Andrew murmured into the auburn head of hair.


	2. Should I stay or should I go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil is almost used to his ordinary life now. Well as far as ordinary goes with the Foxes. But there are still days where he finds normal things absolutely infatuating. Just like today with Renee and her introducing him to new music. He have never dreamed of a song starting something between him and Andrew, but it did anyway.

There were times when Neil was almost used to the things normal people got up to in everyday life. Because right now, for the first time in his life he was allowed to be normal. Well as far as that could apply amongst the Foxes. But there were still days when he did something absolutely ordinary and went mental over it. Today was one of those days. He knocked on Dan’s door wanting to go over something he thought of to practice on the court, but Renee answered the door.  
“Oh, hey Neil.” She greeted him with her ever so bright smile.  
“Hey is Dan around?” he asked.   
“She just went to get some toilet paper, we’re out.” Renee giggled. “She’ll be back in a few. Wanna wait for her here?” she asked him and stepped out of his way in case he actually did want to stay. He took her up on her offer and she led the way to the couch. She murmured a few words in time with the music, which almost sounded like she was trying to sing.   
“What are you listening to?” Neil asked her. He might have been around for some time, but he never actually thought about listening to music. He didn’t really know what kind of music he liked. He just sort of went with whatever was on the radio in the gym or the car or anywhere else.   
“The Clash.” Renee beamed, obviously happy he asked her about it.   
“Do you like it?” she continued. She knew just how much these ordinary things made Neil feel. They made him feel real. Neil listened for a bit and after a while he started absent mindedly bobbing his head along with the rhythm.  
“Yeah I do. They’re really good.” He smiled back at her and her eyes almost lit up when he complimented her music taste.   
“I can borrow you my iPod if you’d like to listen to some more.” She suggested like the angel she was. Neil just nodded with excitement and she went to fetch it.  
“So, have you seen them in a show?” Neil asked.   
“Not that old unfortunately.” She giggled again.   
After their little listening session and the new practice routine they talked over with Dan, Neil went back to his room. Nicky and Kevin were playing a video game in the living room so Neil went to his and Andrew’s room. He was excited, just like a little kid getting a new toy about this whole music/iPod situation. He sat on the bed with his head propped on the headboard and started listening to The Clash songs. And then there came that one song that made him almost speechless. Should I stay or should I go? He never really got why people went so mental over songs and bands and maybe that’s why he never expanded on the thought. But he understood the second this song started playing. It was the one song that you hear and it applies to your life so perfectly you can’t even begin to put it into words. He knew at that exact moment this was his favourite one. He was so into it he didn’t even realize Andrew entered the room. He was looking at him from the doorway, trying to figure out just what he was doing. He never saw him listening to music. He made the few strides separating the bed from the door and sat down beside it on the floor, propping his head up on one of his arms. He took out one of the earbuds closer to him and put it in.  
“Found your personal anthem Josten?” Andrew said in a mocking tone.   
“Yes, for your information.” Neil smiled at him and ran a hand through the blonde’s hair. The song ended and Neil took out the remaining earbud out of his ear and put the iPod on the night stand.   
“It actually is like my anthem. They should play it when I enter the court.” He chuckled at his own not really funny joke.  
“Such a drama queen. Remind me why I tolerate you again?” Andrew replied unimpressed.  
“Because I’m the only person on the team who can stand you?” Neil’s voice went up like it was a question. Andrew just shrugged and then connected their lips. He wanted to do so ever since he entered the room, but wanted to let Neil bask in his normal moment. Neil grabbed him by the hair and deepened the kiss. Andrew got the hint and climbed on the bed, never disconnecting from the striker. He tried to weave his fingers into Neil’s tangled hair, but decided against it and fisted the curls instead. It was hungry and primal. And thought for a second he might actually want to growl from the bottom of his throat. He bit Andrew’s lower lip and then went to his favourite spot on his neck.   
“Yes or no?” Andrew breathed out.   
“Yes.” Neil said in between the open mouth kisses on Andrew’s mouth. Andrew wasted almost no time untying the laces on Neil’s sweatpants and slipping a hand inside them to grab for Neil’s sculpted bum. They were so close again and Neil didn’t even try putting any space between them. If Andrew was uncomfortable he would make sure to push him away. Neil made sure Andrew could feel him on his stomach.   
“Taking your sweet time Minyard?” Neil murmured into the kiss they were still sharing.  
“Still a drama queen.” Andrew crashed his lips again and finally focused on the place where Neil needed him the most. By now Andrew knew what Neil liked and what got him going, so it didn’t take him long to earn a throaty moan from Neil that had to be heard to the other room and leaving them both sticky with come. He rode Neil through his high and then grabbed for the tissues. They cleaned off and Neil sat up on the bed to leave, giving Andrew his privacy, just like he knew he liked it. Even though he wanted to stay and help him, he knew better. Andrew didn’t grab for him, just like Neil did a few days ago, but spoke when Neil was about to reach for the door handle.   
“You should stay. That’s your answer. Maybe you should find a song that’s called that.” Andrew said, expression almost blank, but just with a tiny spark in his eyes.   
“Right now, or in general?” Neil gulped. He knew he wasn’t going anywhere, bad habit.   
“Both. And don’t ask stupid questions. Get back to bed.” He patted the spot beside him. Neil obliged and lied down to his designated spot. They were both lying on their sides looking into each other’s eyes. Andrew reached up to Neil’s hair again and pulled a bit harder where the hair was tangled into a knot.   
“You should also comb your hair when it’s still wet. It’s a mess.” Andrew pointed out giving up trying to untangle the curls.   
“Yeah.” Neil trailed off and then reached for Andrew’s mouth again with and inviting kiss for another steamed make out session.   
“Just like last time. Yes?” Andrew got out and Neil could feel the tension in his shoulders. He nodded though. He was willing to do anything to make Andrew feel good. To thank him for everything. Andrew lied flat on his back and unzipped his too tight jeans and wiggled just enough out of them. He was already hard but gave himself a few strokes to start off and to give himself time. They have already done this, yes, but it was still overwhelming.   
“Andrew.” Neil started softly, not kissing him, not even touching him at all.   
“It was a yes then. It can be a no now.” He stated. Of course, he wanted this for him. But he also knew how much this can be for him. And he would never do anything to hurt him deliberately. Especially not in a situation like this. He didn’t want him to feel obligated.   
“It’s still a yes. Just give me a sec.” Andrew said through clenched teeth and with eyes closed shut. And Neil just watched him for a bit. Just his face. The crease that created on his forehead when his brows were furrowed. The light freckles gracing the top of his nose and his cheeks. The pink flush of his skin, the curve of his kiss swelled lips. He wanted to kiss him but didn’t dare to do it when he was this vulnerable. Andrew reached for his wrist. But didn’t motion it to him straight away. He clenched his fist around it leaving nail marks on the underside. Neil didn’t make a sound, he waited.   
“Okay.” Andrew breathed out and Neil moved very slowly to wrap his hand around Andrew’s moving in sync with him. Andrew turned his head to the side and reached his neck just enough to give Neil a sloppy kiss on the chin. Neil tucked his head in a little and engaged them both with a kiss, which muffled the almost inaudible moan Andrew let out as he came. Neil wanted to pull away and let Andrew do his thing but Andrew held his hand in place to ride him through it. Neil reached for the tissues again and wiped his hand of clean before handing a bunch to Andrew.   
“You can do it if you want to.” He blinked a few times. Neil nodded and as softly as he could and started cleaning Andrew’s hand before moving onto him. It was a small gesture to most people but not to them. Both boys regained their positions on their sides looking at each other.  
“Andrew, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Neil broke the silence between them. Andrew took a deep breath and nodded to grant Neil his question. He must have known this was coming. He turned on his back, so he didn’t have to look at Neil while answering his question. He didn’t even have to say it out loud and Andrew knew exactly what he was about to say. Though making Neil ask bought him a little more time.   
“What got into you lately? I mean I’m not complaining or anything. It’s just that you’ve never let me. And I don’t want to make you feel obligated to do any of this if you don’t want to.” Neil said with a concern in his voice.   
“You know if I didn’t want you to I wouldn’t let you do it Neil.” Andrew said and intertwined his fingers on his stomach. Neil nodded and gave Andrew more time to elaborate on the matter.   
“I talked to Bee about you.” He admitted quietly. Neil knew Andrew was just picking his words out carefully, he wasn’t done and he didn’t want to interrupt.   
“She told me I should expand my comfort zone with you. So that I understand that you’re not gonna hurt me.” He said very cautiously. His heartbeat was racing, but he knew it was fair to tell Neil. That there wasn’t anyone else who would like to help him with this more than Neil. Fucking Josten, he thought to himself.   
“You know I’m not.” Neil couldn’t bite back the comment. He would never want to hurt Andrew. If there was one thought that still scared him to death it was hurting him, crossing the line, making him feel scared.   
“Rationally I get that. But in the moment, it’s a bit harder.” He admitted.  
“I also can’t quite grasp the concept of affectionate touches. Not sexual, you know.” He continued with the confession. This was more than Neil could ever ask for. Neil knew that what Andrew wanted to say was: I am scared. I am scared of the concept, because no one has ever done that for me. The moment they touched me, they wanted me, without any kind of consent.   
“Would you like me to help?” Neil asked. Andrew nodded once.   
“Then we’ll work on that.” Neil said softly but didn’t dare to touch him still. Andrew nodded once, again.   
“I want to be gentle and want to let you be like that with me. Bee says it’s important. She says it’s associative.” He started explaining again. And even though Neil was never a huge fan of Betsy, right now she was his favourite person ever.   
“We’ll work on that I promise.” Neil almost whispered now. He wanted to tear up. He knew he loved Andrew with all his heart. But in a moment like this, his heart was about to explode. There was hope, hope for him to recover, what was damaged, what was broken and scarred. Never completely, but at least for the most part, at least there was hope for them both. Andrew was the most important person in his entire life and to see him like this vulnerable and wanting to heal, willing to let Neil closer was more than anything he could ever ask for.   
“It’s difficult. I’m difficult.” He said and curled into a ball pressing his head and knees into Neil’s body.   
“I don’t care.” Neil replied and put an arm around him. He felt him tense at first, but then his muscles relaxed. They both liked the closeness. It was new and unexplored but felt good. More importantly felt right. Neil kissed the top of Andrew’s head and whispered.  
“Thank you.”


	3. The touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew confessed he wanted to get closer to Neil. Neil just wasn't expecting this was the way he'd choose. And didn't expect him to start this early after their conversation.  
> Please let me know what you think in the commets below it makes me really happy and keeps me going!! <3

No matter how good you were, Exy was still a rather dangerous sport. Violent and fast if need be. Neil learned the hard way many times in his life. Not just during the games, but during the practices as well, but he loved it all the same. Just like today when one of the freshmen rode him straight into the plexi glass, just for the sake of it. No need to say they got all of their following shots aimed either at their legs or their heads when Andrew was in the goal. And everybody knew better than to question him about it. It wasn’t the first-time practice got rather violent and painful, but it was for the first time in a very long time that Neil felt something went a bit wrong. His whole left shoulder hurt when he tried to move it. But he didn’t say anything to anyone. He didn’t want to worry them. And most definitely didn’t want to be benched. So, he went to sleep that night claiming he was too tired to stay up and play a game with Nicky or watch a match with Kevin or have a movie night with Matt and the girls or have a smoke with Andrew. But the pain kept him up all night, shifting around the bed trying to be rather subtle about it to not wake Andrew up. At 4:12 he finally decided against the sleep and got up. He went into the kitchen and took out a pack of frozen peas from the freezer, that was there probably since before he moved here. He took it to the living room and sat on one of the beanbag chairs, carefully placing the cold material over his shoulder. And he just sat there, with his eyes stinging from the lack of sleep and his brain fuzzy. Neil didn’t know how long he was sitting here when he heard the door close behind him. He turned around, his whole body because turning just at the neck send pain right down his spine. It was Andrew.

“Have you finally stopped fussing?” he asked trying to sound annoyed.

“I guess.” He shrugged the other shoulder.

“About time, kept me up almost all night.” He said and walked over to Neil. He took the cold packet and touched Neil’s shoulder.

“It’s sprained, you idiot. You need to relax it, not numb it.” He tossed the packet to the ground. “You were making it even worse.” He motioned his hand for Neil to move forward and then proceeded to sit behind him. Neil made sure he wasn’t touching him. He didn’t want to set him off, or make him feel uncomfortable, so he kept his distance. He still kept in mind what they’d talked about just a few days ago, but it had to be done under Andrew’s conditions and when he was ready not when Neil just felt like it. They needed to take it slow.

“You can sit closer, you know. You don’t need to fall on your ass as well. Enough injuries for one day.” Andrew said and so Neil shifted a bit closer. Neil’s almost bare legs brushing lightly over Andrew’s clothed ones and their torsos at comfortable distance. Enough to feel the heat off each other, but not enough to feel crowded or suffocating. Andrew put his hand over the muscles of Neil’s left shoulder and started massaging it lightly at first.

“Is this okay?” he asked, not to investigate if Neil was comfortable with his touch but to know if it didn’t hurt. Neil nodded and Andrew increased the pressure which resulted in Neil hissing in pain.

“Sh.” Andrew shushed into his ear. He wasn’t scolding him, he was soothing him. Neil nodded again and Andrew resumed the massage. It hurt bad but Neil tried to keep it down. He was squirming and breathing heavily but with Andrew’s light kisses into his almost buzzed off hair they made it work.

“Wanna take a break?” Andrew asked and Neil so much as nodded again. Andrew snaked his arms around Neil’s middle bringing him a bit closer again and placing a few light kisses over the sore shoulder. Neil tried turning his head and even though it still hurt he placed a very light kiss on Andrew’s mouth in a silent thank you. Andrew lied back taking Neil with him, stroking his hair lightly until they both fell asleep. They woke up a few hours later when Nicky opened the door.

“Oh my god!” he screamed and covered his eyes like a little kid.

“We were asleep you idiot.” Andrew muttered and Nicky giggled as he entered the room and sat on the other bean bag.

“Bed got too boring?” Nicky winked at Andrew and he just sighed and shook his head. Neil yawned and for a second forgot about his shoulder as he was stretching the sleep out. He immediately let out a cry and pulled his arm closer to his body.

“What just happened?” Nicky looked at him a bit alarmed.

“Did he hurt you Neil?” he was pointing at Andrew and put a hand over Neil’s thigh in a soothing manner. Andrew scowled at him with such intensity Neil was surprised Nicky didn’t catch on fire and Nicky instantly let go, looking a bit guilty about the gesture.

“No. I just sprained something at practice yesterday. I’m fine.” He tried for a convincing smile but was still a bit too tired to master it.

“Well we’re out for breakfast. Care to join us?” the cousin stood up and motioned to the door. Both boys shook their head simultaneously. When the other boys were out Andrew stood up from the chair stretching from the awkward position they were sleeping in and held out a hand to Neil. He took and stood up as well. He was half expecting Andrew to drag him back to their room and either make him go back to sleep or resume the massage. But he did neither, he started for the bathroom and Neil followed without another word. He helped Neil out of his shirt and made him sit in the bathtub in just his boxers. Neil was absolutely confused about what was going on and didn’t know if it was because he was in pain or exhausted or neither. He finally caught on when Andrew put the hot shower stream over his shoulder. He was trying to relax his muscles and it was working. Together with touch of Andrew’s calloused hands it actually felt nice despite the occasional shot of pain. He just breathed through it. When they were done, Neil dried himself off and went into their room to change. Andrew came back with a wet towel and placed the hot cloth over his shoulder once Neil finally settled on the bed. And he changed it every few hours so it was always warm for him. Dan came around in the afternoon because she heard from Nicky Neil got hurt and wanted to see it for herself. Andrew left them alone in the room and went to see Renee and changed Neil’s towel again before he left.

“What happened Neil? Are you okay?” Dan touched his other shoulder carefully and the look in her eyes was hopeful.”

“I just hit the wall a bit too hard. I’m fine, don’t worry. It’s just a sprain it’ll be fine in a couple of days.” He smiled at her to reassure her. It was definitely better now than it was in the morning so he knew he’ll be fine in no time.

“What’s with the monster and the towel?” she asked.

“Don’t call him that.” He scowled at her and she put her hands up in a surrendering manner.

“You know it’s a bit hard to believe he’s not…that.” Dan admitted avoiding the m word.

“Well he’s not. Take my word for it.” Neil opposed.

“Anyway, what’s up with the towel?” she smiled trying to avoid the conversation. Neil guessed they would have to agree to disagree.

“It’s to relax the muscle. He changes it every hour or so.” He smiled at her again.

“He actually cares for you like this?” she was actually surprised.

“Yeah. He gave me a massage in the morning.” He replied and her eyes went wide.

“Told you he’s not a monster. He may act like one sometimes but he’s everything but a monster.” Neil started praising his boyfriend.

“Yeah okay. Whatever you say.” She rolled her eyes, still not completely agreeing with him but it was a start. They talked some more about the practices and games dismissing the conversation about Andrew completely until he returned to the room again to change Neil’s towel again and she was off.

They spent the rest of the day in bed lying around. Neil even tried catching up on his homework.  When he was done, he leaned over Andrew on his good arm and kissed his forehead in lieu of a thank you. Andrew looked up from his book and furrowed his brows.

“I hate you.” He said quietly.

“Thought you might have forgotten.” Neil teased him and Andrew closed his book and pulled Neil in for a kiss. After a while Andrew pulled away and whispered almost inaudibly

“Kiss my neck to remind me.” It wasn’t a command, it was a plea. Neil smiled and carefully lowered himself over Andrew’s neck and started kissing it.

“But like you mean it Josten.” Andrew was back to his normal sarcastic voice now and pulled Neil’s longer hair on the top of his head a little harder. Neil chuckled over his skin and then bit down on it lightly sucking the tender flesh leaving a dark purple mark. When Andrew winced, he let go and soothed it with a kiss.

“Not so disgusting now, is it?” Neil said when he levelled with the blonde again.

“No, it’s still disgusting and I still hate you.” He replied and ran hand through Neil’s hair. He chuckled at him again.

“I guess I should remind you more often.” He winked at him an


	4. Hot times at Columbia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew is full of surprises lately. And the night things get ugly at practice he just wants to get away.   
> WARNINGS: mentions of mild violence and implied start of a panic attack

Neil was okay by Friday. And the practice was going awful on Friday. More awful than most days. And the breaking point being when Jack called out to Neil:

"Wesninski watch out!" As he was passing a ball to him and deliberately hit him on the head.

"What did you just call me?" Neil looked him dead in the face stopping whatever was going on at the court. Everybody stared at them holding their breaths.

"That's your name, isn't it?" He smiled that sick smile as if he was gutting Neil at the spot. Andrew was at the goal and everybody could literally feel his body tense and his anger bubble within him, but he stood his ground at least for now. He knew Neil could handle Jack by interesting him in a sarcastic comment and so he let him deal with it. Still keeping an eye out for him if things got ugly. Neil’s skin crawled with anger. He hated that life and Nathaniel and all that had to do with the Wesninskis. He pushed those memories as deep down as he could and hated it when someone brought them back. He almost felt a panic attack taking over him but fought it. It took him long enough to be where he is now for some freshman bastard to tease him about it. He didn’t want to lose control over it. But Jack was getting on his nerves every day since day one. And any other day he would just spit out a sarcastic comment but right about now the anger was flowing through his veins and he couldn’t find his voice. He did the one thing he could and threw the first punch. And the fight was on. It only took Andrew to see Jack hit Neil right in the ribs with his racquet once and he was by his side, knife aimed carefully (and not visible to the other team members) at his stomach. 

"Cut it out John. " he almost whispered his expression blank but voice murderous. It sent a shiver down Neil’s spine, and not the good kind. Neil was almost expecting to see that manic smile to make an appearance. It didn’t though.

"That's not what I'm called." Jack pointed out, obviously not believing that Andrew would actually hurt him. Oh, how wrong he was.

"Isn't it?" Andrew asked pushing the blade slightly closer so that Jack would feel the cold of the blade. And he got it. He raised his hands up in a surrendering manner and took a step back. He was acting cool, but Neil could see the fear that crossed his eyes. And Andrew just basked in the feeling of being feared still. 

"Careful John." He said putting the knife away and returning to his designated spot in the goal. But that wasn't it, because when Andrew was pissed in the goal everybody got a taste by having the ball aimed at their legs or their head if he felt like it. Tonight, he was aiming all his merciless shots at Jack. He just had to learn not to cross him ever again. And picking a fight with Neil set him right off.

"What the fuck Minyard?" Jack screamed at him after he got a shot into the front of his helmet. A painful shot, which of course Andrew was going for.

"Stop fucking around!" He shouted. 

"Maybe if you learn to play I'll consider it an option." Andrew replied stone cold and aimed another shot at his head, succeeding. 

"Minyard!" Coach shouted from the barrier and Andrew looked his way. 

"Would you care to stop destroying my team?" He asked. And Andrew did just what he did best. He stared at him blankly as to say "did you really just ask me that?" for at least two minutes.  Wymack considered asking Neil to intervene but thought better of it and just dismissed it with a wave of a hand and a roll of his eyes and let him continue whatever it was he was doing. It was finally after the practice and the team was dismissed to their lockers. And the fact that the hot water stopped running for today didn't do much for anybody's mood. Neil returned to his locker after he had a very quick shower only to find Andrew sitting on the bench hugging himself in to keep him from shaking violently, failing miserably at that. There was nobody else in the locker room anymore.

"Are you still cold?" Neil asked him and he nodded. Neil took out his orange team hoodie which had JOSTEN #10 in white written on the back. He half expected Andrew to protest, but much to his surprise he didn’t and put it on.

“I wanna go to Columbia.” Andrew muttered under his breath.

“Tonight?” Neil raised his eyebrow as he was putting his stuff into his duffel. Andrew nodded.

“I wanna try something.” He added, not looking away from Neil.

“Okay.” Neil said and zipped up his bag. They got up and as they were reaching the door he grabbed the keys from Andrew’s hand.

“I’ll drive.” He said and Andrew just shrugged. The drive was silent. They didn’t even bother telling the team mates that they wouldn’t be coming back to the Fox Tower after practice. Andrew turned up the heating in the car and buried himself deeper into Neil’s hoodie. Neil was already quite warm but didn’t protest anyway. They got to the house and brought their bags into Andrew’s room. Neil sat on the bed waiting for Andrew to say something. 

“I want to take a bath.” he informed him twisting one of the strings of the hoodie around his finger.

“Yeah.” Neil blinked a few times. He knew Andrew liked baths. They relaxed him. And he liked the warmth. He usually sat there reading a book or smoking or both until he was too hot to take it anymore. He left the room and Neil heard the water running from the bathroom as he made himself comfortable on the bed. He couldn’t help but wonder why he brought him here and why it was so important to do tonight. It couldn’t have been just the cold shower and wanting to get warm after it. It might have been the whole Jack situation though. Neil actually took himself by surprise that he didn’t feel sick or that he didn’t feel guilty afterwards or at least not as guilty as he thought he would. He gained his composure back during the short drive with Andrew. That’s what always helped him when he was not feeling himself, whether he was driving or not. He didn’t want to think about his past right now, even though these thoughts had a perfect opportunity to reach the surface now that he was alone and lying in bed. That’s when they usually came haunting. But right now, they didn’t and he was very grateful for that. He didn’t know why but that didn’t matter. Yes, his chest was still a bit too tight, but not to a point where he would panic. Suddenly, Andrew’s head reappeared in the doorway. Neil looked at him with a smile on his face. He liked seeing him in his clothes. Mainly the ones bearing his name on them.

“Are you coming?” he asked.

“Where?” Neil furrowed his brows in a question.

“To the bathroom, you idiot.” He rolled his eyes at him.

“To the bathroom?” Neil was starting to think that the shot he got to the head damaged his brain or his hearing permanently.

“Yes. I want to take a bath.” Andrew said.

“With you.” He added after a bit. Neil gulped and stared at him blankly.

“You don’t need to do it if you don’t want to. That’s alright.” Andrew has mistaken his silence for doubt. When in fact it was just sheer surprise. Neil would have never expected to hear something like this from him. Not after what just happened on the court.

“No. I mean I want to. I just wasn’t expecting this. You’re full of surprises lately.” He smiled. Andrew got lost in the dark of the hallway without another word. Neil was startled, perplexed and it took him a while to remember how his legs worked. He got up and walked into the hallway following the dim light from the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and leaned onto the counter. And for a moment they just looked at each other. Warm hazel eyes into those icy blue ones, not saying a word. Neil could see Andrew was tense.

“Andrew, I know this is your safe place. You don’t need to let me in if you don’t want to.” He started off.

“If I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here.” Andrew blinked a few times. Neil breathed in heavily. Of course, he wanted to do this. But in the last couple of weeks Andrew’s been letting him do stuff that he’s never done before. Letting him in. He didn’t want him to feel pressured, by Bee or worse himself. He already had him and that was enough for Neil.

“Do you trust me Neil?” Andrew asked his words echoing a little off the tiled walls. Neil nodded.

“Of course. Don’t ask stupid questions.” He emulated Andrew’s words.

“Then trust me to handle this. And that is my line.” He jokingly pointed a finger at him. Neil nodded again. If this was what he wanted, he would be more than happy to do it.

“So how do we do this?” Neil crossed his arms at his chest and felt his heart racing. He clenched his fists to stop him from shaking, leaving crescents imprinted on his palms.  Andrew came closer to him and took his arms to pull them away from his chest. Then he proceeded to take his shirt by the hem and started to pull it up and over his head. He undid the strings on his sweats and helped him out of them. Same with the underwear.

“Get in.” he almost whispered at his jaw and Neil obliged without a word. He got into the too hot water, making his legs sting but didn’t argue it. If they were going to do this they would do it on Andrew’s terms only. Andrew took off the hoodie and the T-shirt together. Neil was watching him, he just couldn’t help it. It wasn’t the first time he saw him shirtless. But he did it so rarely it always felt like the first time.

“Staring.” Andrew pointed out.

“I’m sorry.” Neil muttered almost inaudibly and looked at his hands in the water instead. He only looked at Andrew again when he stood in the water opposite him. He was still wearing his boxers. He didn’t seem to mind the temperature of the water even when he sat down.

“Just this. Okay? Nothing more.” He said looking Neil dead in the face and he nodded. And so that’s what they did, they sat in the too hot water staring at each other and Neil didn’t dare to look lower than Andrew’s collar bones. Suddenly Andrew leaned forward and swallowed hard.

“Come closer.” He commanded and Neil did as he was told. He leaned forward so that their faces were mere inches away from each other, but still being very careful not to touch Andrew, apart from his legs where Neil’s legs met them in the small space. Andrew grabbed for the nape of Neil’s neck and brought him even closer kissing his lips. Neil didn’t think he could get any hotter than this.

“Nothing sexual tonight.” Andrew whispered as he pulled away and they stayed connected just by the foreheads. Neil nodded and kissed him again.

“You can touch my back. Just no touching below the waist.” Andrew said between the kisses. Neil first grabbed for his hair because he knew Andrew liked it. Then slowly went for his neck, just ghosting fingertips over it and it gave him goose bumps. Meanwhile Andrew’s hands were almost all over him. His back, tracing his scars worshipping them almost, then stroking his thighs and his hips. Neil finally built up the courage to move his hands a little lower and just with his fingertips he traced along Andrew’s shoulder blades, feeling the soft skin there and then ghosting them over the ridges of his spine and back up to his neck. He didn’t want to overdo it the first time. This was still too much. Andrew then tilted his head a little silently pleading for Neil to kiss his neck and Neil followed. Andrew pulled away, both the boys panting and flushed to their chests.

“Turn around.” He whispered. Neil took a deep breath but did as he was told once more. He didn’t like having anyone behind his back, but this was Andrew after all. He knew he could say no anytime, but it didn’t even cross his mind once.

“Close your eyes.” He said after Neil rather awkwardly turned his back to him because of the tiny space. Neil closed his eyes shut and then felt Andrew’s hand at his neck again leaning his head back, he followed the movement. Then he felt a stream of not so hot water over his hair and a familiar smell of the shampoo they shared filled his nose. Funny how when deprived of one of the senses you find the use of the other ones multiplying at once. And Andrew started washing his hair. Slowly and carefully as if he thought Neil might break, even though he knew he wouldn’t. And Neil almost purred at the sensation of Andrew’s hands massaging his scalp. He then proceeded to rinse it thoroughly. Neil still kept his eyes closed even though he heard the water cut off. Andrew got close to his ear and whispered again.

“Go wait for me in the bed. I’ll be out in a sec.”

Neil opened his eyes and it took him a moment to adjust to the sudden light. He got out took a towel of the heating rack and dried himself off. Then made himself comfortable on the bed once more, after stealing a clean shirt and a pair of boxer briefs from Andrew’s closet. Andrew didn’t take long just like he promised. His hair was wet and dripping on his shoulders. He was already wearing his pyjamas when he joined Neil in bed.

“So, are we borrowing clothes from now on?” he asked as he noticed what Neil was wearing.

“If you want to. I don’t mind. You can wear anything of mine.” Neil shrugged.

“Yeah like I could see that happening.” Andrew rolled his eyes jokingly. He then got up again and went to get something from the bathroom again. When he came back he was holding a wide toothed comb.

“Sit up.” He motioned for Neil to do so. And when he was sitting he brushed his curls, just like he suggested multiple times already.

“Thank you.” Neil said when they were lying on their sides again looking at each other. He didn’t mean just the combing, he meant the whole bath situation. Andrew just blinked a few times.

“Hey.” Neil said brushing a hand through Andrew’s hair carefully.

“Are you mad at me for punching Jack tonight?” he asked. He just wanted to make sure everything was in place.

“Took you long enough.” Andrew answered unimpressed.

“Are you okay about…” Neil trailed off not really knowing how to end that sentence.

“Yeah.” He breathed out

“Are you sure?” Neil asked again, not really hoping to get a different answer, but just to show he really cared that he was really there for him if he decided he wanted to talk about it.

“I’m fine.” He emphasized the statement.

“Hey, that’s my line.” Neil laughed.

“Fuck you Josten. Close your eyes and go to sleep.” Andrew shook his head and tried to close Neil’s eyes with his hand only making him giggle more.

“Should have bought a hedgehog instead. At least they fall asleep if you put a hand in front of their face.”


	5. Fists and fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: mentions of violence and panic attacks

The day they returned from Columbia Neil went for a run. He decided to just run a few laps inside the stadium, because he wasn’t really keen on pneumonia as it was getting rather cold outside. Andrew refrained from the experience and stayed at the Fox Tower. And Neil wanted to give him some privacy so he didn’t protest about going alone. After the laps, he got into a shower and the warm water was back on. He remembered how his skin felt in the bath with Andrew just one day ago and couldn’t help a smile appearing on his lips instantaneously. He dried himself off and got dressed in the stall, a habit of sorts. As he entered the changing room again he almost got a heart attack. Jack was here, sitting on a bench obviously waiting for him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked curling his hands into fists until his knuckles turned white, a reflex. He could feel his heart beat getting faster by the second and the blood pumping in his ears. It wasn’t just that fact that this freshman didn’t respect him, fuck that. It was what he was doing to Andrew. How he got upset about it. How once again he was fighting Neil’s battle. And Neil promised to himself one year ago, when Andrew went off his meds, he would never let him do that again. And especially not over something this petty and stupid.

“Scared Nathaniel?” Jack smiled that twisted smile again. Neil just clenched his teeth a little harder and went to his locker to take his bag and get on his way. But Jack was suddenly too close to him. It made him feel uncomfortable.

“What do you think you’re doing here at Palmetto Wesninski?” he asked fisting Neil’s shirt by the collar. Neil’s breathing got faster.

“Putting this new team together. And maybe if you actually tried, you would get good at the game.” Neil explained himself, feeling the anger slowly creeping in.

“Do you actually think that I’m gonna be bossed around by an amateur player runaway and his psychotic boyfriend?” Jack shook his head fisting Neil’s shirt a bit tighter.

“Seeing as I’m the vice-captain, you don’t really have a choice.” Neil just couldn’t bite back the comment. Jack shook his head again and exhaled loudly before placing a well calculated punch on Neil’s stomach, which made his breath hitch in his throat and let out a silent cry in pain. It was a childish feud. He didn’t really want to fight him or hurt him, he just couldn’t supress his anger. It was a reflex.

“Not so fun when your boyfriend isn’t around to back you up, huh?” Jack screamed and the sound echoed off the walls. Neil took a deep breath and instinctively threw a punch which landed over Jack’s face. And the fight was on again. Fists and kicks landing wherever seemed fit or where they could reach at the specific moment, shortly taking them both to the ground and rolling over, screaming and grunting in pain. Neil’s blood was boiling. He remembered every time he got beaten as a kid. And it gave him the drive to kick and scream, the pure survival instinct. But it also reminded him of the time spent at Evermore where he got beaten in the changing room the first night upon his arrival. And it drove him even more. He was beside himself. A third person watching the fight, the boy rolling on the floor throwing punches and being simultaneously beaten into a pulp was someone else. Maybe a ghost of Nathaniel, or anything that was still left of him. Jack finally got Neil on his back holding him still by the shoulder, the other hand in the air ready to beat his face senseless until he couldn’t feel anymore. They were both panting heavily. Neil looked around for something to hold onto, or for something to help him escape and then it came to him. He lifted his head just a tad bit of the ground and bit down hard on Jack’s wrist resulting in him letting go of Neil and screaming in pain.

“You bit me!” he screamed in a surprise as Neil scrambled to his feet, took his bag and ran for it until Jack got his composure back. And he ran all the way to the Fox Tower. So much for not being keen on pneumonia. He only stopped when he reached the sidewalk in front of the dorm. He placed his hands on his knees and breathed heavily. His vision was blurred and he saw black spots all over until he calmed down and his breathing got almost normal again. He finally examined the damage on his hands, his knuckles were covered in blood and he didn’t know if it was his own or not but he could smell it anyway and it almost made him sick. But maybe it was also the taste of the blood in his mouth. He spitted out thick saliva and wiped his mouth smearing blood further down his chin. He straightened up and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. He didn’t want to face Andrew but there was no other way. He couldn’t just go around ignoring him. He felt sick and guilty and on the verge of a panic attack. He took a few breaths again and then set on his way to the third floor. Nicky and Kevin were in the living room and he didn’t bother greeting them. They were deep in a game anyway to care. His heart was racing as he reached for the door handle to his room and he actually thought he might be sick. He wished Andrew was out with Renee or on the roof having a smoke, even though he knew he was inside. He closed his eyes and with his head held low walked in.

“Hey.” He murmured and hoped Andrew wouldn’t be too interested in him to look away from his book. But he was wrong. He was looking at him even when he wasn’t. It was just the way they worked.

“What the fuck?” Andrew asked instead of a hello and immediately got to his feet, taking interest in Neil’s face.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Neil started off as Andrew took his hands into his and examined them.

“What the fuck Neil?” he asked again and Neil could feel how his breathing got heavier and the set of his shoulders tensed even though his expression stayed the same.

“I said it’s nothing, let it go.” Neil continued with his tantrum.

“I might need to ask a different question.” Andrew said dead serious and looked Neil in the eyes.

“Who did this?” he interrogated.

“No one.” Neil blinked a few times.

“I’m gonna ask one more fucking time Josten. Who?” he breathed out loudly.

“It doesn’t matter, I don’t want to talk about it. You said I shouldn’t be coming crying to you if somebody breaks my face. So that’s what I’m doing.” Neil intertwined his fingers with Andrew’s and tried to kiss him but Andrew moved his head away.

“Okay don’t tell me then. At least let me clean this up. You look like a mess and I’m not gonna let you get blood all over the clean bedding.”  He said dragging Neil out of the room and into the kitchen. Thank god nobody was too interested in what these two got up to. Or maybe they just thought better of it. They might’ve murmured a hello but that was about it.

“Since when do you care about bedding?” Neil tried to lift the mood up.

“Since quarter to never.” Andrew said and motioned for Neil to sit on the counter top. He found all the stuff that he needed to clean him and stood between his legs as he did so. They were quiet during the process apart from the occasional hiss in pain or Andrew’s “Hold still.” They weren’t looking at each other. At least Neil tried to avoid every occasional eye contact he could. When everything was as clean as Andrew could get it, their eyes met and Neil looked away. Andrew took his chin in his hands and forced him to look him in the eyes. He put his other hand on Neil’s thigh and dug his nails a little deeper for Neil to feel them, but not enough for them to hurt.

“If I find out who did it, I’m gonna kill that bastard.” He said his expression stoic as ever. If Neil didn’t know better he would’ve thought Andrew was joking.

“You are not gonna do such thing.” Neil put his fingers through Andrew’s hair and pulled him closer into a kiss to dismiss the idea. And Andrew followed, deepening the kiss with all off his anger and might and frustration. Until it was a full on make out session and Andrew bit Neil’s lip just like he always did because he liked the way it made Neil feel. But this time Neil didn’t react the way he always did, he hissed in pain and Andrew immediately pulled away.

“Didn’t say you have to stop.” Neil whispered into his face kissing open mouth kisses over Andrew’s jaw. Andrew kissed him some more and let himself be kissed on the jaw and his neck but then pulled away.

“What do you want to do now?” he asked Neil leaning his forehead on his.

“Sleep. Is that alright?” Neil sighed. He was drained physically and emotionally. So, Andrew dragged him to their room by the hand. Neil managed to change into his sleeping clothes without help.  He lied on his side and just listened to Andrew’s steady slow breaths and the occasional turn of a page until he fell asleep.

_Neil was lying on the cold tiled floor of a very white sanitary looking room. Everything was white apart from the metal table in the middle of the room. It almost looked like and operation room. It took him a bit to get into a sitting position because his body hurt all over. And he smelled blood everywhere making him sick again. He sat up and heard hushed voices talking. He looked up and saw all of them. Nathan, Lola, Riko. Silently talking over what they were gonna do to him. He looked down on his hands, the handcuff and the slash and burn wounds were all fresh and searing with excruciating pain, he was trembling. He touched his face and it was the same with those as well. It was the same with all of them. The iron wound, the multiple slashes down his chest, everything. He was trembling with pain and horror and looked around the room for possible escape routes. He couldn’t really see anything because his vision was getting blurred and his head felt fuzzy from the pain. There was a sudden movement in the room and Nathan made his way around the table and knelt down before him._

_“Hey.” He said in a hushed, sweet voice and stroked Neil’s hair and his cheek avoiding the wounds. Neil just gulped and shivered under his father’s touch in fear._

_“Don’t be afraid Nathaniel.” He continued in that sweet voice which was so unlike him._

_“I’m gonna take you home.” His hand snaked around Neil’s throat.” And make it all stop.” He was almost back at his normal voice and tightening the fingers around his throat. “Once and for all.” He said loud and clear for everyone to hear and held Neil’s throat so tight he cut off all the air going in through his windpipe. Neil tried to gasp for air but not with much success. And he heard this awful screaming in his ears but didn’t see where it was coming from. He wrapped his fingers around his father’s wrist and tried to clench it so tight he would let him go, but he didn’t have the strength to do that and just left bloody marks all over him._

He woke up panting and drenched in sweat. He sat up on the bed and instantly started checking his wrists. They were fine. He was breathing heavily and his chest was tight all over with fear and panic. He tried to hold the tears back, afraid it would hurt the wounds on his face, he checked for them as well. The skin was a tiny bit raised but it was just a scar. His cheek hurt from where Jack’s fist met it. He couldn’t hold back the tears even if he wanted to now.

“You screamed.” he heard Andrew from behind him. He turned to face him and just shook his head.

“It was just a nightmare. I’m fine. Go to sleep.” He breathed out the lie. He was everything but fine. And to further defy his words he felt himself shiver and getting swallowed alive by the panic attack that was just peaking at him from around the corner since he stepped into the changing room that evening. He couldn’t breathe, his throat was dry and he couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks onto his neck. Or the violent shiver of his body. Or his hands from going numb. His head was spinning and vison was blurred again.  Andrew sat up and made him look at him.

“Inhale. One, two.” He started with the routine Bee taught him a while back when he himself was struggling with panic attacks. And right now, it came in handy. Neil tried to follow as best as he could and Andrew put his hand on the back of his neck to let him know he was here with the tiny strokes of his thumb over the bones there.

“Exhale. One, two, three, four.” Andrew was saying his face expressionless apart from his eyes which lingered with concern but he would deny it if confronted about it.

“Inhale. One, two, three, four.” “Exhale. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.” He continued until Neil calmed down and could breathe on his own properly. Then they both lied down and Andrew motioned for Neil to lie on his side, his back facing him. And then he started stroking Neil’s back lightly with his fingers.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly, Neil nodded. It was more than okay. Even though Andrew wasn’t a fan of physical comforting, he knew that was what Neil needed. It comforted him to feel somebody there. To be able to lean on someone and feel their strength pulling him up. And it was just so new and different from the usual “Calm down” phrase he spat out.

“Bee says it tends to calm people down.” He trailed off. Neil wasn’t in a mood to talk. After a while he turned to his back and stared at Andrew in a silent thank you. Andrew put his arm around Neil’s shoulders, so that he could place his palm flat just under Neil’s T-shirt to feel his heartbeat. And they both fell asleep again. A dreamless sleep this time.


	6. The demons' phone number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of Jack continues. I read somewhere that this was his story, I'm not sure if it was Nora's blog or something else but i still liked the idea. So here you go. Enjoy some murderous Andrew.

Neil dreaded practice the following day. He was way too tired when his alarm went off half an hour early because Wymack wanted to talk about something before they started. And he was actually scared for Jack. Not of him, no. He could take his beating and his comments. He was scared because he knew that when Andrew sees him this morning all hell will break lose. Of course, Andrew had his suspicions. But he wouldn’t just knock on Jack’s door and cut him open if he wasn’t sure. But if he sees him today, he will know 110 %. Neil and Andrew sat down in the front room next to each other, while they waited for the rest of the team to get there. Andrew could feel Neil’s body tense every time somebody walked into the room. He put his hand on Neil’s thigh to calm him down or maybe just to let him know he was safe or maybe just because he wanted to. Everyone seemed to notice and exchanged looks and maybe also money. And everyone wanted to ask Neil what happened but dismissed the thought the second they met Andrew’s gaze. Wymack was leaning over the game centre waiting for them to settle down.

“Somebody’s missing.” He muttered under his breath because he just wanted this to be over with. He gave Neil a look and Neil just shook his head to make him let it go.  Suddenly Jack walked into a room all confident with his black eye and Neil sank lower into the cushion, trying to avoid his gaze. He just felt Andrew’s hand tighten around his thigh, definitely leaving marks with his nails.

“I’m gonna kill you.” Andrew stared at him with such intensity Neil was surprised he didn’t burst.

“Uhm Neil could you maybe stop your boyfriend from staring me down?” Jack said still confident as ever.

“Just let it go.” Neil whispered in Andrew’s direction but it was no use apart from his nails digging further into Neil’s thigh.

“Oh, and Andrew.” Jack smiled because he knew exactly he was just pouring gas into the fire.

“You should really take better care of your pets.” He continued. But Andrew didn’t even flinch with a question he wanted to ask but didn’t.

“They bite.” He said showing off the teeth shaped bruise on his wrist.

“Well at least his aim isn’t totally useless. Your face is starting to look less far from not interesting at all. You should take the hint and adopt the look. Maybe I’ll do it for you.” Andrew replied.

“Okay, okay settle down you two. Nobody’s interested in your arguments.” Wymack interrupted, because he didn’t want to get involved but knew that if he didn’t intervene now with a simple comment at least, Andrew would soon bite Jack’s head off. In fact, everyone was interested just how long it would take Andrew to lose his control and cut Jack open on the spot. But they dismissed it and listened to the coach instead. No need to say practise was going absolutely awful all day. That Andrew was so aggravated with everyone and everything nobody dare to get close to him. He was watching both Neil and Jack on the court like a hawk. And when they left practice he never left Neil’s side and didn’t let him go anywhere unsupervised. Neil thought Andrew might as well hold his hand and walk him to class and then wait outside for him to walk him to the other one. And he was almost right. Andrew did walk him to his first class of the day, but didn’t wait for him outside to walk him to the next one. He just picked him up after his last one and walked him to the Tower while they shared a cigarette. He claimed he just wanted to walk around the campus for a bit and Neil didn’t question it. The rest of the team kept messaging him to learn what happened. Neil wasn’t too keen on replying to all of those texts so he promised to let them know before the afternoon practice when they all gathered. Andrew didn’t leave his side even then. He sat beside him playing around with his phone, trying to seem uninterested, but he listened to every word he said, twice as carefully as everybody else. Foxes got all protective of their vice-captain and wanted to confront Jack about attacking teammates but Neil asked them not to and they respected it. That doesn’t mean they were happy about it, but he was family and if he asked them not to do it, they wouldn’t. The only person not too interested in the matter was Aaron, but he tried to keep his mouth shut anyway. Maybe it was the looks Nicky and Andrew shot him every time he inhaled to say something. It was better for everybody’s sake he stayed out of it. After another awful practice, they all returned to the Tower. Dan and the girls insisted on Neil having dinner with them at their dorm. And so, he did and Andrew of course tagged along. He kept his hand on Neil’s thigh under the table, which seemed to be a pattern for today. They went to the roof for a smoke and a bit of kissing before they went to bed that night.

_Neil’s eyes were blinded by the fluorescent light that reflected off the white walls. He sat up, feeling the cold floor beneath him. And once he did sat up he felt and excruciating pain run through his body. The sweet and irony taste of blood impaired his senses. He touched his face and felt the sticky warm substance running down his cheek. He looked at his hands and they were covered in blood and shaking violently. He looked around. He knew he saw this room before. It was all white and sterile. The only thing in here was a chrome table in the center and behind him were all of the people he feared in his life. Lola, Riko and most of all his father. A shiver ran down his body. He wanted to stand up but couldn’t muster the strength to do so. He wanted to stay silent so that they wouldn’t notice him, but his breath gave him out. His father looked his way and smiled. The sweet, twisted smile of a killer. Suddenly there was somebody else in the room. Jack. Nathan patted Jack’s head like he was his only son and then made his way around the table and kneeled down before Neil. He ran a hand through his auburn hair and kept smiling._

_“I’m gonna take you home, son.” he said in that weird sweet voice that didn’t sound like him at all. Neil wanted to swerve away from his touch but couldn’t._

_“Are you afraid of me Nathaniel?” Nathan asked but Neil didn’t answer. He kept looking over the room until he noticed. There was a weird plexiglass type of thing and behind it was Andrew. He was looking at the scene with a blank expression, but Neil could tell from the way his body was all tense he was everything but uninterested. His eyes darted over him quickly. He was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt but his hands were covered in blood. The second Nathan’s hand snaked around Neil’s neck, in the moment of carelessness, Andrew’s bloody fist made a collision with the plexiglass only leaving a bloody stain behind. Neil heard that awful scream again and his whole mind was swallowed but despair and feeling of uselessness. His father’s hand got tighter around his throat and he couldn’t breathe…The only things he heard were the scream in his ears and the desperate thuds of Andrew’s bloody fists on the plexiglass…_

He woke up and sat up right away, too violently, making his head spin. He tried to take a deep breath and check for his injuries again. He was shaking and scared to the core. He looked at Andrew checking for possible injuries as well. Andrew’s eyes were wide open but he was fine, much like Neil.

“Another nightmare?” he asked sitting up even though his hand on the back of Neil’s neck suggested he knew the answer to that question. Neil nodded.

“You were there. Your arms were bleeding.” Neil blinked a few times. Andrew wordlessly pulled up one of his sleeves and let Neil touch his armbandless forearms with his other hand still stroking the back of Neil’s neck. When Neil calmed down a little again, Andrew made him lie on his back again, keeping tabs on his heart beat the same way he did yesterday, with his hand just under Neil’s shirt. Neil couldn’t fall back asleep so fast again. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw his father’s, _his_ , eyes looking down at him, with the intention to end his life and Andrew’s desperate attempts at breaking the glass between them, and failing miserably.

Neil was too tired the next day, because of a rough night he just had. He tried drowning it in coffee but it was no use. Walking to the classes was worse than a walk of shame. Everybody was staring him down and whispering what might have happened to his face, he thought it might get better after they saw him yesterday but it probably only got worse because of the rumours spreading around the campus. So, he sat down at the back of the auditorium at every lesson and tried to focus even though his mind was drifting. It was drifting with tiredness and he was struggling to stay awake but then again, he had this strange feeling inside of his belly. He remembered the way Andrew kept looking at him as if checking that he was okay. How he stared at Jack with all of the scenarios of how he was planning on getting rid of him running just behind his blank eyes. How he touched the back of Neil’s neck at night to soothe his panic attack and the way his nails dug into Neil’s thigh to keep him from getting his knife out at the foyer. All of this was exhibition of how Andrew actually cared for him even though he would never admit it and probably dismiss it with a rude comment. There was no need to say he had no idea of what was going on at that lesson. His eyelids were drooping and threating to close his eyes and send him right off to sleep when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He wouldn’t have answered it if his focus was full on the professor, but since his brain was somewhere else anyway, he did.

_“Andrew 911, Tower”_ read the text from Nicky. Neil was suddenly wide awake. His heartbeat was so fast he though his heart might just jump right out of his chest. He gulped a few times and tried to find a rhythm for his frantic breath to steady himself. The blood was pumping in his ears and he acted on instinct. He wasn’t even aware of what his body was doing when he stood up and walked out of the semi full auditorium. As soon as the door closed behind him he broke out to a full-on run. And his mind was screaming – _Run, Andrew_. He was afraid of what he might see when he comes back to the Tower. But that didn’t slow him down, if anything it only made him run faster. People who he almost knocked over shouted at him, but he didn’t hear them. His legs hurt and were threating to give out on him, but he wouldn’t let that happen. Not when it came to Andrew. The pure survival instinct that kept him going all those years, now turned into a fear for this one person that mattered more than anyone else. He would never, _never_ give out on him. He would never let his body to give out on him. He ached all over to close the distance between him and whatever went wrong up at the Tower. He pressed the button on the elevator in a silent plea that it was there. It was and he almost ran over the people who were trying to get out. The elevator’s clicking sound announced he had arrived to their floor. The door opened and he immediately made out Nicky’s form. He was on the phone but Neil couldn’t make out what he was saying. There were black dots blocking his view and the excruciating pain was pushing all of the air out of his lungs and not letting any in, in return. Neil bent down and rested his palms on his knees and tried to breathe normally again.

“Nicky.” was the only thing he was able to get out. Nicky hung up and placed a hand on his back.

“Oh my god Neil are you okay? Did you run all the way?” he asked surprised.

“You said it was an emergency.” Neil finally mustered a full sentence and stood upright.

“Yeah well…” Nicky rubbed the back of his neck.

“What happened? Where is he?” Neil fisted Nicky’s shirt.

“I don’t know Neil. Nobody’s seen him all day.” the cousin said and his voice was riddled with fear. Neil swallowed hard a few more times and then blinked as if to dismiss the idea that Andrew was missing. Like closing his eyes and opening them again would be like waking up from his nightmares and Andrew would be there by his side grabbing the back of his neck tapping the two fingers on the bones there and then sliding his hand down the front of Neil’s shirt to check his heartbeat. But when he opened his eyes again the panic didn’t forsake his body. If anything, it settled deeper into his belly and threatened to suffocate him. His vision blurred again for a second.

“Find him.” He said and almost didn’t recognize his voice as his own. It was dark and cold and much like his father’s. Goosebumps rose all over him and over Nicky’s skin as well. He’s never seen him like this.

“Neil, I’ve looked everywhere for him. He’s left.” He dared to say even though he knew it would only aggravate Neil more.

“Is his car outside?” Neil asked with the same dark voice.  Nicky simply nodded.

“Then he’s on campus.” Neil retorted.

“I’ve looked everywhere Neil I swear.” Nicky’s voice was getting desperate with fear of Neil and of what might have happened to his cousin.

“He’s hiding Nicky. He’s not going to be at the most obvious of places.” Neil’s voice was getting louder. He was furious and scared both at the same time.

“Why would he be hiding?” Nicky asked and Neil finally let go of his shirt dropping his hands uselessly at his sides. His next thought made all the sense in the world.

“It’s who he is hiding Nicky.” Neil said and he was almost back at his own voice now. Fear was gripping him from the inside and shredding him to pieces but he had to hold this one out for Andrew’s sake. He needed to find him. Nicky quirked up an eyebrow in a question.

“Has anyone seen Jack?” Neil asked and Nicky’s gaze changed. He understood just right what was going on.

“You don’t think he…” Nicky trailed off.

“I don’t know Nicky. But we need to find him, now.” Neil clenched his jaw with determination just like he often did on the court and started thinking. He asked Nicky about all of the places he looked for Andrew. He tried the dorm, the roof, the study room, the library and the gym. There was only one place where nobody would go looking for him if he went missing – the court. Neil gathered all of the strength he had left in him and ran all the way down to the Maserati. Nicky stayed behind, because his presence would only make things worse. Neil could talk to Andrew, he could get through to him. If only he could find him.  He unlocked the door and started the car. He didn’t care about parking it inside the lines and ran all the way to the door. He practically banged in that week’s code and ran down the hall to inspect the locker room first. Neil almost didn’t believe his eyes when he saw him there. He felt like he could breathe again despite the fact that Andrew had Jack up the locker with his arm behind his back. One wrong move and he’d dislocate his shoulder with ease. Neil scanned him quickly for injuries, but there were none. But he did spot the knife pressed against Jack’s back. He finally spared Jack a look. There were tears dried on his cheeks and his face was the epitome of sheer horror, he was a mess but he wasn’t hurt. Neil turned his focus back on Andrew. He radiated violence, even though his eyes were blank and unimpressed. Neil didn’t dare to get closer.

“Andrew.” He said low in his throat but he didn’t sound like his father this time which he was grateful for. Andrew acknowledged his presence with a simple look in his direction but didn’t speak or do anything else.

“Neil, please.” Jack croaked out and his voice was different. Squeaky and laced with panic.

“Don’t say that word around me.” Neil said but he kept his eyes on Andrew. “I don’t like it.” He emulated Andrew’s words. He wasn’t going to grant Jack the satisfaction of knowing he was trying to make this easier for him. Even though he wasn’t going to let Andrew hurt him he knew he deserved this and anything else Andrew had already done to him. Neil was only trying to stop Andrew from doing something stupid.

“Let him go.” Neil said in Russian and Jack’s face scrunched up more with fear.

“Why should I?” Andrew replied in the same language again.

“Because I’m not gonna let you do something stupid. And I don’t plan on being one short on the team.” Neil said still piercing Andrew with his icy blue eyes. Andrew let go of Jack’s arm and it fell limply beside him. He didn’t dare move with the blade still pressed to his back. Andrew took a step back, but turned Jack around to face him. He placed the blade on the column of Jack’s throat and spoke in English.

“This was the last time you defied me.” He said and Neil swore it made Jack shiver all over.

“Now leave, before I change my mind.” Andrew said and kept his eyes on him as he was leaving the room. Neil moved out of the doorway so that Jack wouldn’t accidentally bump into him. When he was out of sight he turned back to Andrew. He was sitting on the bench hugging his knees to his chest with one hand and turning the knife over in the other one. Neil made the few steps separating them and seated himself at a comfortable distance, straddling the bench. He didn’t dare get closer to Andrew now. The atmosphere was still violent and unpredictable.

“What happened?” Neil asked. It was stupid of him and he knew it. But he just couldn’t bite back the question.

“I’ve taught him a lesson, that’s what happened.” Andrew said unimpressed and finally put his knife away.

“You said you’re not going to help me when somebody breaks my face again.” Neil said his eyes never leaving Andrew.

“You were getting annoying.” Andrew replied as if it was as simple as that.

“What did you do to him? He looked like a mess.” Neil questioned. He couldn’t get the image of ever so confident Jack, being held up against a locker with tears streaming down his face and begging, out of his head. It sent a shiver down his spine that Andrew was capable of doing that.

“You saw no blood Neil. I didn’t hurt him, I was a good boy.” He blinked a few times.

“Nobody’s seen you all day. Don’t tell me you’ve been here planning on scaring him with your knife pressed into his back and threating to dislocate his shoulder. You’re better than that.”

“Let’s just say I had his demons’ phone number, turns out they weren’t busy today and owed me one.” Andrew said and even though his expression didn’t change, Neil could see just how satisfied he was with himself. They stayed silent for a bit. It wasn’t awkward, it was grounding for both of them ‘till Andrew came down from his murderous high. He still looked like one wrong move would sent him into overdrive and he’d cut anyone open. He was the first to speak again.

“You know his whore of a mother used to lock him up in a closet.” He started off and Neil was quick to put two and two together.

“You locked him up in a locker?” he asked.

“No, I caged him like the animal he is that misbehaves.” Andrew clenched his jaw and breathed out loudly.

“Well you didn’t have to.” Neil said. “I can defend myself.” He blinked. Andrew moved suddenly, but Neil stayed glues to the spot. Andrew pressed a finger into Neil’s bruised cheek and pushed a little harder to send pain right up Neil’s face.

“Yeah, I can see that.” Andrew mocked. Neil slowly lifted up his hand and closed it around Andrew’s wrist. He didn’t flinch.

“I’ll handle him. He’s my responsibility from now on.” Neil was serious now.

“Your call.” Andrew replied blankly and leaned in a little bit more. He could sense Neil wasn’t quite back to himself yet. He wasn’t angry, it was just the aftermath of the last few days.

“Now stop running your stupid mouth and kiss me before I murder you as well and bury both of your bodies next to each other so that you can match your hard ons in afterlife.” Andrew almost growled into Neil’s ear and Neil simply leaned into the awaiting kiss.


End file.
